Box of Matches

Nicholson Baker

Claire told me last night that Lucy, the frail but funny woman who lives on our street, has had to go into the hospital. She's going to be okay, but the woman who helps Lucy was trying to fin d a home for Lucy's pets. Claire was wondering whether we should take one of the cat. I see that it would be a good thing to do but it seems to me that our current cat gets into terrible fight with neighbor cats already, and he's had a major blow this year as a result of the arrival of the duck. Greta, although not very bright in some ways, is shrewd about cats. What you do is you walk up to the cat slowly, as if you want to say hello, and when the cat tentatively extends its nose in the willing-to-sniff-and-be-sniffed stance, you peck at him sharply. Then, when the shocked cat turns to walk away, his ears back, his feelings and nose hurt, lunge at him again and peck him directly on or near his anus. That makes him gallop off--for no animal likes to be pecked on the anus by a duck.

I want to take care of the world. Sometimes I think of a helmet with a set of plastic earlfaps that I swivel down over my ears. There are holes on the outside of the earflaps that pick up sounds of distress from far away. It is like listening to the whales groan and squeal--there is usually one cry that is prominent, and, by turning my head from side to side, I use the signals reaching each ear to guide me to where the crime or misery is. I can fly, of course.

This is a good-feeling book. You wouldn't imagine that a good story could be made of a man describing his thoughts while sitting in front of a fire in the early morning, but Nicholson Baker manages to do this: his narrator writes a series of goodmornings each based on the starting of a fire by a match. You know you can trust him because it is a truly wise person who can point out that no one likes to be pecked on the anus by a duck. But beyond this, Baker demonstrates to me that it's not really that important what your story is about; as long as you can tell it good and tell it well, it will be interesting.